4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize