Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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