Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
