What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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