ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize