WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
