it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
