Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
