Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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