i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dick very happy bro
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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