therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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