Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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