We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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