I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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