woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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