how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
