if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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