That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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