Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
