Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
