the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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