JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
