Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
