How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
