i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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