so that wasnt chicken after all
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
