She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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