Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
