I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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