he was CRYING into my vagina
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
