last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
