no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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