Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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