Having a random hookup so left but love u
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
