matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
