I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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