Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize