How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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