so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
