drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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