we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
