Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
