I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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