I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
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I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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