I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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