i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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