She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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