My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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