so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
