Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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