ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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