She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
