Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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