giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
