i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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