just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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