GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
