Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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