So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Never let your siblings swipe right.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
