My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
