Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
