I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
