Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
