I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
