She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i have two assholes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
