I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Is it because I queefed?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
