dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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