I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
