dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
